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(More customer reviews)Two years ago my friend John Cahill told me he was writing a book.
"What's it about?" I asked.
"This guy I know, Malcolm Smith, flew in the Coast Guard. He has some great stories about his experiences."
Instantly my mind went in two directions. First, I pictured war documentaries aired at five o'clock in the morning--hours of dull information I don't want to know. Open-minded person that I am, I quickly wrote the book off. Simultaneously, I thought of another friend, Steve Ward. Unlike me, Steve was very interested in airplanes, and any time a plane went overhead, he would identify it as a B-26 or a C-593. Actually, these may not exist, for I have just made them up; to me all the numbers were meaningless. I was also reminded of Steve's passionate idea to make a movie about the WASPs--not the insects, but a group of adventurous young women who flew planes in WWII. I knew that--though I probably had no interest in John Cahill's book--Steve Ward would. I'd buy a copy, give it to Steve, and let him tell me about it.
"Oh, that's great," I said, trying to sound more enthusiastic than I felt. "Let me know when it's done. I'll buy a copy."
Time passes both too quickly and not quickly enough. A year ago, in February, 2003, Steve Ward died. In September, 2003 seven months later, Malcolm Smith, with J. Wilfred Cahill, published I NEVER LIKED THOSE C-130'S ANYWAY: MEMORIES OF TWENTY YEARS IN THE U.S. COAST GUARD.
Perhaps in a vain subconscious wish to bring Steve Ward back, I bought not one, but two copies. They lay on my desk for months. I don't have much time to sit down and read, but I spend a lot of time on the road and listen to a lot of tapes. Each time I ran into John Cahill, I'd apologize for not having got to the book yet, and then complain that if it were out on audio, I'd have listened to it already. John said they were working on the audio version, but didn't care if I read the book, so long as I had bought it.
Finally, I couldn't take any more Cahill encounters, not having read the book. The world is unpredictable, espcially the world of literature, and you just don't always know what lies under the next unlikely looking cover. The surprise for me was a wonderfully readable and highly entertaining collection of anecdotes, masterfully told by Malcolm Smith on to tape, and transcribed by John Cahill. The stories are short, but interesting, and always involve either a prank or a screw-up. I have never encountered another book quite like it. The nearest thing I can think of is a book my mother gave me called PECK'S BAD BOY AND HIS PA. I was sick in bed at the time and I think that book helped me get better, for it celebrated, through the consecrated written word of a published book, tales of mischief and shenanigans.
Having never had any direct experience with any branches of the military or its associated arms, my impression of the whole business has always been one of seriousness, order, discipline and drudgery. Malcolm Smith's stories humanize and humorize these stereotypes. What emerges from his book are the experiences of a man endowed with average gifts and foibles, but an extraordinary sense of humor and penchant for fun. Through his stories, Malcolm Smith reveals a Coast Guard institution big-hearted enough to allow his whole human being--one that did not necessarily fit into any particular mold--to grow within the system to his own natural potential, as an exceptional officer and pilot, much loved by his fellow "Coasties". I have never considered any branch of the services for myself, but Malcolm Smith makes me feel that I might have missed something great in not having been there.
Steve Ward would have loved this book. Hell, I really enjoyed it and I'm not even interested in airplanes or the Coast Guard. At least, I wasn't. Now, at least I know the difference between an H-52 and a C-130.
Thanks, Malcolm, for remembering and telling your stories, and thanks, John, for turning them into a book.
Malcolm Smith's stories may well become widely read and enjoyed. One day we will be able to remember when they were first published and that we were among the first to hear them. Rumor has it that this first collection includes only those stories which the author felt he could tell without getting himself into trouble. If there are more as good as these, here's one reader who looks forward to hearing them.
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Your chance to relive a little piece of "The Good Old Days" and find the answers to these burning questions: Which future Coast Guard Captain said "Shit, Mal, let's do a 360 and get out of here." Which Coast Guard astronaut said, when asked to describe his scariest moment, "Flying as Malcolm Smith's co-pilot." Which Coast Guard aviator got the blame for putting training wheels and streamers on the commanding officer's and XO's new bicycles. Which Coast Guard aviator threw up in his glove while flying rather than make a mess in the cockpit.This book brings back some of the funniest moments of the Coast Guard during the time period between the "Old Guard" and the new modern Coast Guard."For more than two decades, Mal has threatened to write a book to chronicle his many colorful experiences during his Coast Guard aviation career. Mal can spin a tale better than any sailor and his exploits in and out of the cockpit are indeed legendary. But the fact is, the closer he gets to the completion of this life-long dream of his, the more nervous I become. I can't wait to read it!"RADM David W. Kunkel, COAST GUARD AVIATOR #1726"Malcolm Smith is a master storyteller with a flair for finding humor in everyday activities and recounting his observations with entertaining splendor that leaves you thirsting for another. Since meeting him when I was a teenager in Alaska, I have been absorbed by his colorful renditions and have long awaited this composition. I just hope I'm not the subject in one of his stories."CAPT. E. Darrell Nelson, COMMANDING OFFICER, CGAS KODIAK
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